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How to be a Bridesmaid
Yay! A wedding! Your nearest and dearest is on the path to matrimony and whilst you are admiring her new sparkler on her ring finger, she is gushing about the proposal, the date and her dress and then she grabs your hands, looks into your eyes and asks you to be her Bridesmaid. Caught up in the moment you smile, squeal and say yes and then you both burst into babhle about what needs to be done. If you have already attended a few weddings as a Bridesmaid, you know what you are in for and can either take it on or you would have been running for the hills and shrieking hysterically. But if this is your first time with the honour bestowed upon you, later that night you will sit bolt upright in your bed, clutching the bed sheet under your chin and thinking “Oh boy what have I got myself in to?” For you are now embarking on Bride Boot Camp!
It isn’t that bad, but then again I don’t know the Bride you are in charge of. Basically the role of the Bridesmaid is a very important one as you are charged with the task of making sure you mop up the tears, handle the temper tantrums, hold her hair back for her and hide incriminating evidence from her Hen’s night and smile knowing that on her wedding day you hand her over to her husband – to - be in one piece and with some sanity left. I think I was way too easy on my Bridesmaids. I chose three women where two lived interstate and the third lived in another country! All they had to do for me was have their dresses made and turn up on the day. I took care of everything else. It was my mum who fielded the 2am calls where I had woken up in panic that I had overlooked some minor detail or booked the wrong flights for my grandmother. On my wedding day, my girls were a cool, calm and collected bunch and they looked absolutely beautiful.
So, with me being so caring of my girls, how can I possibly be aware of the flip side of the coin you ask? There is a gem of a show called Bridezillas. Have you heard of it? I watch that show and some of these brides leave me in a state of shock – the way they treat their bridal party can make ones jaw drop in disbelief. Some have had their girls walk out on them, others just grin and bear it and you can see the knowing look in their eyes as they watch the Bride commit to her husband and you know her bridal party are looking at him and thinking “sucker!” How bad can some women be?
Some brides chose women who were bigger than them to make them look slimmer on their wedding day; others put their bridal party on extreme diets and monitored everything they ate and would organise weigh-ins. Some brides got into fist fights with their bridesmaids as tempers flared on the Hen’s night. Some ridiculed their girls every chance they could, had them running senseless errands and dropping them from the wedding if they were five minutes late to a meeting because their child was sick/stuck in traffic etc. Sure these girls are your besties and you expect them to be there, but it has to all be within reason right?
Oh my goodness, okay here is a run-down of what I could gather as to what makes a stand out Bridesmaid. Your role is that of support. You need to be there when the Bride perceives total chaos (the wedding planner isn’t listening, her mother has invited an entire nation to her wedding or she just isn’t feeling like it is working – where were Kim’s bridesmaids?) and calm her down and show her that it is all going to be okay. Hopefully your Bride won’t be as bad as the women portrayed in this show, but it does help if you can just realise the tempers and crying jags for what they are and roll with it. Just cross your fingers and hope she gives birth to a Dennis the Menace, or if you are yet to get married, chalk this up and when you finally start planning your wedding then you can give her a little run for her money. You will need to put together the Hen’s party, just don’t do an Annie (Bridesmaids) and get thrown off a flight or have a melt down at the Bridal Shower and tear the party apart (although it was pretty funny when she tried to push over the chocolate fountain). Try and be there for every dress fitting, hair and make-up trials. If your Bride has her heart set on a certain dress for the Bridal party and it isn’t to your own taste just go with it. It is for one day and you only have to wear it the once but it makes her happy. Although if it is out of your price range, definitely discuss in private and see if an alternative can be found.
If she has decided she wants no piercing or tattoos on display, or asks if you can tone down your hair colour/style, don’t take offence. If you can strip it all back for her then easy, or once again sit and see if you can reach a compromise, but always try and do what she asks first.
On the day of the wedding make sure you give plenty of hugs and reassurances. Pack a Bridal First Aid kit just in case a quick stitch is needed in the gown, a strap to be secured, band aids and gel pads for the shoes to avoid rubbing, breath mints, tissues, bobby pins and double sided tape to avoid a boobie trap and a stain/spot remover. J You are the one that gets her in that dress and down the aisle. All the blood, sweat and tears will be worth it and at the end of the wedding night you can kick your heels off and relax until your next friend comes to you and asks you to be her bridesmaid…
Shop for gorgeous Bridesmaid Gifts at Pink Frosting to say thank you for all of their hard work!
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