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Writing your marriage vows

Your exchange of vows is the most important part of your wedding. It’s the moment you promise to love, honour and cherish your partner for the rest of your life.

If you’re getting married in a religious ceremony, you probably won’t have the opportunity to create your own vows.  If you do get the chance to write your own promises to each other, keep in mind that, on the biggest moment of your life, keeping it simple is the best principle!  Here’s how to write your own marriage vows:

• Write them together.  Sit down with your partner and talk about what you’d like to promise to each other.  Share your thoughts on what you value about your relationship and what you hope your marriage will bring.  Also share your expectations of length and content.
• Brainstorm.  Write down the words that describe your partner, your love for each other and your hope for the future.  Find words that encapsulate your experiences, values and hopes, such as ‘fidelity’, 'fun', ‘trust’, 'adventure', ‘honesty’ or ‘devotion.’
• Look for inspiration.  Jot down words, song lyrics, ideas, poems or movie scenes that strike a chord with you.  Scour the internet for poems, sonnets or passages from novels that have meaning for you.  See our sample marriage vows for inspiration.
• A nod to tradition.  If tradition is important to you, then review examples from conventional marriage vows and incorporate some of the language or ideas into your own vows.
• Avoid long anecdotes.  Remember, this is about creating a dialogue between you both, where you share your personal promises to one another, not a chance to relive some old memories.
• Review.  Once you’ve written your vows, set them aside for a week or so, and then come back to them and review them.  Do they still ring true? 
• Practice, practice, practice.  Read through your vows several times before your big day. 

Remember, regardless of what you say, your partner loves you, and the two of you will cherish your wedding vows when they come from the heart.

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