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You are Only as Young as the Lover You Feel!


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As Spain’s Duchess of Alba busted out a bare-foot flamenco dance in a salmon pink, calf length designer dress, her new husband Alfonso Diez watched from the side with the other wedding guests. She was celebrating her love and marriage to a handsome man and all but two of her six children from her first marriage were in attendance – BUT there is more to it than the flamenco…

The Duchess of Alba is Spain’s richest woman. She has the most titles bestowed upon her than any other dignitary. She is related to Queen Elizabeth and Winston Churchill. Twice married, third time is a charm for this plucky 85 year old Duchess. Yes you read right – she is 85 years old! So older people remarry, you say. Where is the issue with that? Why did she have to draft up a will in which her six children and all her grandchildren receive money and estates enabling them to live comfortably in order for her to wed her love? Why were two of her children not at the wedding? Well it may just have something to do with her new husband being a civil servant and 25 years younger than her!

Seriously if I was that rich and happily in love, I wouldn’t pay my kids to let me get married – that is pretty harsh to do to your widowed parent. I’d scoot off somewhere and just get married, after all I’d be 85 years old, I think by that age I would have the right to do whatever I wanted! I can see the concerns of her family. For some, marrying a younger person does not turn out all peachy keen – just look at Madonna, Demi Moore, Paul McCartney (who just got married again) and even though his fiancé walked out on him before the wedding, I think Hugh Heffner is another you can place into this category. The younger person wants out, to be with people their age and their older partner may have responsibilities (like children) that they are just not as ready to take up and it ends in heartache, humiliation and “I told you so” from those around them.

But that is not to say that all marriages where there is a significant age gap fail. There are some solid relationships out there. Also, how much is too big an age gap? For some the term ‘cougar’ is one they like for it implies that they still have what it takes to attract the younger men. My mum is five years older than my dad and she loathes the term and bristles if someone calls her a cougar. I don’t think five years is too big an issue. For the Duchess, her husband is 25 years younger. He is 60 and she is 85. Is that such a bad thing? According to reports he has the title of Duke, however this will go to her first son upon her death and he did sign papers relinquishing all access to her wealth. Is that enough to show that he is genuinely in love? Should he have to work harder to prove himself of pure intentions when another man the same age as the Duchess or older could come in and wed her just purely for the money but because he is of same or older age he isn’t held in suspicion like Alfonso Diez? Is it because he is a (gasp) Civil Servant? At least her family can see that he works. He isn’t coming in to the relationship with no income or employment.

She has loved and lost (widowed twice), has now found love again. She has raised six children, is the wealthiest woman in Spain and right now she is happy, and isn’t that the key to a good life, to just be happy and in love? I hope that when I am her age I too will be able to bust some moves on the dance floor!

Image credit:  MSNBC



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