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Wedding Gift Registries - the Good, the Bad & the Greedy
At the end of the reception Mike and I stumbled into our Bridal suite and stared in amazement at the table covered with presents. What was all of this? As we started to look through the gifts it dawned on us that it was wedding gifts. Of course we had been to many weddings before our own and before each of these weddings spent ages agonising over the perfect wedding gift for the happy couple, but for our own wedding we were just so excited to be seeing all our family and friends who had travelled (my hubby’s family flew in from overseas) that we thought that alone was better than any gift. We were deeply touched and consider ourselves very blessed to have such wonderful family and friends!
That said, when it comes to the wedding registries it requires a balance between what you want and what your guests can afford. You need to take into consideration their situations, how far they will be travelling to attend your wedding and their accommodation expenses. You don’t want to be seen as greedy and your loved ones don’t want to offend you either. So begins the gift registry tango! The art of Asking and Receiving. What do you do if you attend a friend/family member’s wedding and when they attend yours they out gift you with their gift to you? Do you then have to make it up with an elaborate gift on the birth of their first child? I wonder how much an island off Dubai retails for these days?
Since our own wedding we have noticed a new trend in wedding registries. No longer is it the list at the counter in Myers/David Jones, couples can now have an account with a travel agent and your guests put money in towards your honeymoon. Another idea is donations to a charity of your choice. Both options are something to consider if you and your hubby-to-be are already living together and have your home set up. The other option is the Wishing Well where your guests can pop a monetary gift in and the bride and groom can use it to buy their presents; saves on double ups (for the Kath & Kim fans, how many crock pots did Kath and Kel get after their wedding day?) It also makes it easier on guests that are from an area where the shop of your choice is not available. Curious about this I asked friends and family what they would prefer and I found that majority ruled in favour of the wishing well, registry was second and charity donations came in third. Now when it comes to how much people thought was a reasonable amount to spend on a gift many thought that $50 to $150 was more than reasonable. Anything over that was too much. Hmmmm…I then scour the internet and come across the wedding gift registry for Kim Kardashian. At the time there were reports that her invited guests baulked at her list, many questioned why, when she has billions in her bank, have a gift registry when she could easily afford the things she listed a hundred times over. When I found the list I totally agreed with the shocked guests!
Some of the gifts for example range from $46 martini glasses, $375 candy jar (what is wrong with a Tupperware container?), $840 Havana ashtrays and the most expensive item on the list was the $7,500 Baccarat Cosmos extra-large vase. Good thing my friends and family were not invited. She would have received a lot of martini glasses! Is that the attitude to have though? “Well they can afford it so I want it” Do you think she was being greedy? I wonder if anyone re-gifted for her wedding. Actually I think I have one of those vases about gathering dust! (Tic) I myself have not done this but I think the rules when it comes to re-gifting your own wedding gifts to someone else you need to make sure 1.) The item is still in its packaging, never been used. 2.) All tags and names (yours) have been removed and 3.) Make sure that the person that gave you the gift is not at the wedding and are not the ones getting married. I know someone who received a gift card with someone else’s name on it!
I like the idea of the wishing well, it is a very clever idea and takes the stress off trying to find that perfect gift. My brother and his fiancé are having a wishing well at their reception as well as a registry at Myer. Currently where we live there is no Myer (although it is being built) so knowing we can gift money instead makes it so much easier for us. If they were not having a wishing well we would have gone and bought them a slow cooker. When Mike and I were married fondue sets were all the rage, now it is slow cookers.
The fact is at the end of the day the gifts, no matter how much they cost, hand-made or re-gifted are given and received with love. I can hand on my heart say that 7 years on from our wedding day, we still have all our wedding gifts and also use them – AND for no registry, there were no double ups! How awesome are our family and friends?
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