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The Dress Does Not Fit You, You Fit the Dress...
For one bride out there who isn’t stressed over her looks in the lead up to her wedding, I can find 100 more that agonise over every little thing regarding their appearance. If you have seen the Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson movie Bride Wars (one of my guilty favourites!), there is a scene in there where Anne’s character in an attempt to sabotage her BFF’s wedding plays on her weakness for junk food and plies her with gift baskets full of chocolates, cheeses and butter. A point is made that Kate’s character is getting married in a Vera Wang dress “which the dress does not fit you, you fit the dress” i.e. no alterations dah-ling. Cue the realisation she gained weight and the frantic exercise routine. There is this notion that to look beautiful on your wedding day, in your wedding dress you have to be a size 10 or less.
Kate Hudson has put her wedding on hold until she loses her baby weight (yeah I can understand that), Kim Kardashian had meltdowns of nuclear proportions as she huffed, puffed and dieted her way into the three gowns she had chosen. More recently though are the reports of Jessica Simpson struggling to lose weight and this has me scratching my head. Why? I asked the same question when I read about Kim. Why? These women look healthy. Their figures are womanly – a bride is a woman. For me, being the same age as Kim and Jess I think they are beautiful. When I was in the process of planning my own wedding, I would sit on the floor in the lounge room and watch Jess and Nick’s Newlywed show. I thought she was absolutely beautiful.
I’ll fess up now, before I had children I had a figure which was often described as that of a boy. Straight up and down, no boobs, no hips, nadda, zip, zilch! My dress maker decided to cinch my gown in such a way as to make it look like I had hips and my bra had padding, in padding, in padding! I felt a tad awkward and self-conscious in that I obviously didn’t have much of a shape for the dress maker to step in and make something for me. I would look at women and envy the bum and bust. I was thrilled when I started to have children as I grew boobies and I had a bum (which hubby thought was fantastic and so did I as I never had to wear a belt or spend all my time pulling my pants up over nothing more than a crack in my lower back!) I felt healthy and loved the curves. I filled out tops, could wear pretty dresses. I had shape! I did whatever I could after giving birth to hold onto the curves. Now my youngest is 2.5yrs old I have managed to retain a bit of booty and my bust, although small is still there!
I can understand Jess’s insecurity. She has been ridiculed by many, who should really have known better, about her weight and her ex-husband married a teeny-tiny woman who wears nothing but bikinis as they go from one holiday to the next. Her own father likes to talk about the size of her bust (ick!). If I was in Jess’s shoes I too would throw on shapeless clothes and snap up a trainer. But when I look at her I see a beautiful woman. Sometimes our shape is out of our hands (I had big boobs when I was pregnant and now they are almost flat!). For some you just can’t gain weight, for others you just can’t shift it or shift it quick enough. If you want to lose weight then do it for you and your health and not for what others may think (I am pretty confident though they will be totally in love with how you walk down that isle rocking that wedding dress at any size). You don’t have to be a size 10 and under to look like a beautiful bride if that is not your size or shape. Beauty is what comes from within you. Clichéd I know, but true!
There are some tricks that you can call upon if you like. There are fantastic ranges of shape wear that pulls, tucks, smooths out bits and bumps. I love them!
You can choose a dress that creates an illusion with panels and inserts, sashes, tucks – these types of designs are favoured by many a celeb on the red carpet too! What do the stylists say? Work on enhancing your best attributes and everything else will look amazing. It is a rite of passage for a bride to agonise over how she is going to look for her big day. I tried waxing my legs. When I came to on the bathroom floor, I decided my best bet was to just shave them. I did the pore strips and mud packs and then freaked out when I ended up breaking out in pimples. My dress maker had me walking the tight rope of not too much weight but not too little which almost drove me crazy! My hair dresser tut-tutted my regrowth but now that look is bang on trend!
In the end I just decided I looked amazing the way I was (padding or no padding, cinch or no cinch, bleached scalp or otherwise) and worked with what God gave me, and so should all the brides out in the world! Jessica Simpson, you especially take note!
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